Annual Biology Department Dog Races

- August 25, 2006 Š

 

The Competition:

 

AppleMark

 

******************************

 

AppleMark

NAME: Ruya's Nell Hypothesis ("Nellie")
BREED: Rhodesian Ridgeback
WEIGHT: 80 lb
AGE:  2 years 9 months
PROFESSIONAL RACING HISTORY:  
Novice
CONDITIONING AND PREPARATION: 
Not much.  Mostly she just dreams about the opportunity to compete.
WHY YOU THINK YOUR DOG WILL WIN: 
She has been bred for generations for stamina across short distances.  
She is fast (well she can be when she wants to be) and big (so she can 
take bigger steps than the other competitors!).

 

NAME:   Borg Ganser
BREED: Belgian Malinois Shepherd
WEIGHT:  90lbs.
AGE:  7.5
PROFESSIONAL RACING HISTORY: 
Used to chase down bad guys
CONDITIONING AND PREPARATION:  
None

WHY YOU THINK YOUR DOG WILL WIN: 

He is a sprinting machine


 

NAME: Bubba Jackson

BREED:  Wheat-able

WEIGHT:  42 scrappy lbs.

AGE: 2 yrs.

PROFESSIONAL RACING HISTORY:

None

CONDITIONING AND PREPARATION:

Exuberant daily laps, spastic episodes, watched Forest Gump 100 times.

WHY YOU THINK YOUR DOG WILL WIN:

Bu loves to run. Fast like a mo-fo.


 

NO PHOTO AVAILABLE

(Kitten approximates LucieÕs cuteness)

NAME: Lucky Lucie
BREED: Boxer/ hound mutt thang
WEIGHT: 35 pounds
AGE: 10 months
PROFESSIONAL RACING HISTORY: 
Mud racing
CONDITIONING AND PREPARATION: 
Licking of the genitalia
WHY YOU THINK YOUR DOG WILL WIN: 
Not a chance

 

NAME:   Jimmy the Saint
BREED:  Weisenheimer, or wahmmahamma
WEIGHT: 75 pounds
AGE: 7
PROFESSIONAL RACING HISTORY: 
Well, he thinks he is in the human race
CONDITIONING AND PREPARATION: 
absolutely none

WHY YOU THINK YOUR DOG WILL WIN:
 I am certain he wonÕt


 

NAME:  Gallitzen Ocean Diver aka "Bello"
BREED(or best guess): Portuguese Water Dog        
WEIGHT: 41 lbs
AGE: 9 months
PROFESSIONAL RACING HISTORY: 
None
CONDITIONING AND PREPARATION: 
2  40 minute walks per day, 1 hr swimming per day

WHY YOU THINK YOUR DOG WILL WIN:

Youth, Inexperience


 

NAME:   Lucky Lager
BREED:  Irish Wolfhound
WEIGHT: 190 lbs
AGE:      25
PROFESSIONAL RACING HISTORY: 
Blue Ribbon, Logan Field, 100 yd dash, age 12
CONDITIONING AText Box: DISQUALIFIED
Dogs only!
ND PREPARATION: 
8 hours of sleep per night 
WHY YOU THINK YOUR DOG WILL WIN: 
Fiendishness and timely flatulation