Trading Spouses Debunked
Hi. This is Rob Burgess for that episode of Trading Spouses, filmed in July
of 2005 and aired January 2006 (and rerun in New Zealand and Australia
since then). I've been
contacted by lots of people who feel terrible after seeing the episode I
was in. Dont! It's just TV! Real life is very different from reality TV!
They did quite a bit of editing and splicing in the production of that
show. I'm not that quiet and my wife is not that weird!
Right after the show was filmed, my wife and I separated, but it was
something we were planning to do for a while.
We currently live
separately in different but nearby houses and the kids go back and forth.
Sometimes things don't work out and it is all for the best and everyone is
happier. That's why my wife and I came off as so cold to each other - or
actually they preferentially showed her being distant. We couldn't tell
Raegan for fear of jeopardizing the show. It's a shame, Raegan and I had a
lot of fun during the show, she is very funny and there were lots of funny
parts but they left all that out because they wanted to tell the sad story.
I knew when we signed up (entirely my wife's idea, neither the kids nor I
wanted to do it) that they could do whatever they wanted for the show. I
was amazed how much distorting they did. Here are a few examples:
- The Dead Hermit Crab - Yes, the hermit crab died during the
show, but we just threw it in the garbage. No big deal. However, our pet
hedgehogs had their first babies during the show too, and we didn't know
the dad hedgehog had to be separated during birth or it would eat the
babies. The girls were sad about that and that's the funeral we had.
Also, during that part, Holly is sad and I pick her up and hold her. That
was from a completely different time when the girls were fighting!
Amazing, completely taken out of context.
- Leaving the party - It looks like I leave the party halfway
through and go upstairs and have an anxiety attack or so. Not true! I
wen't upstairs to put on my star trek shirt (which I made, and they had to
put gold tape over the logo, for copyright issues). The footage of me
folding clothes came from earlier in the day when I was getting ready for
work. It's true, I don't really like parties, but I don't mind, it's fun
for others.
- French! - What was up with reading French baby books to the
family? Ann went up expecting to find younger kids, and she is learning
French and wanted to show them the books she had for her Creole autistic
kids in her class (they didn't tell you she teaches autistic kids or
volunteers at the homeless shelter). Ann says whe she got there they told
her to read the books anyway. You can imagine how weird it would feel
going to a different state and with a camera crew and no idea what to do.
So they made her look weird.
- Laughing! - During the show, it looks like Ann is laughing at me
kinda cruelly sometimes. For example, during the reading of how the money
is to be spent, it looks like Ann laughs after reading about the Iceland
trip, and then I look hurt. The part of Ann laughing came from a different
part. The part of me looking grim came from earlier when they read the
part that we should hire a professional organizer. Everything completely
out of context.
I do have to say, during the filming they never told us to do or say
anything. They would program our day, and someone would come say "Tell the
family you are going out to dinner at this restaurant." and then we would
follow a van wherever they told us to. We went to a park and ut to eat and
the kids went and had their nails done with Raegan and they went to the
homeless shelter where Ann volunteers. It was fun.
At night, we would be interviewed for a long time, it seemed like hours!
They would turn off the air-conditioning because the noise from the air
conditioning ruined their sound recording. It got hot fast in the house,
and we were in front of hot lights! I am glad they didn't make the kids
look bad, Ann and I should have known better but the kids had no choice.
It really was an amzing production, there were dozens of crewmembers just
at our house, they rented the house next door and had cables running
between the two. The camera crew, a cameraman and a sound person were with
us all the time during the day. They woke us up but left during the night,
howerver there were a few fixed cameras in the house all the time. They
took out about 80% of our pictures for fear of copyright problems and
replaced them with generic photos their art dept. made. they changed all
the lighting in the house. The crews and everyone I met were very nice,
but it's weird, we have no record of them as we couldn't take pictures
while they were here. They came and vanished without a trace, very
surreal.
The Dexter's are very nice, and we had a lot of fun during Raegan's visit.
I enjoyed making it but not seeing the finished product. I'm not too
surprised, just disappointed. I guess America want's the drama, no one
wants to see a show of people having a nice time. I had never seen the
show before we were picked (my wife was the big fan), and I don't see it
now. Don't be fooled by television. It is not real. Enjoy it as you
would anyone's dirty laundry (!), but don't think it reflects anything in
real life.
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